Merry Christmas To Me! Part 1.

Throughout this blog, I may decide, as is my right to divert from the usual training guide to talk about and hi-light things that I deem important. The Russell Howard post for instance was extremely important due to the need to congratulate a member of our feline community on their great success. . .

This post is- as you should be able to guess from the title- all about Christmas. Christmas is a very special time of year for hu-mans. This is the first time I have experienced the excitement, stress and anticipation of their event but from what I understand it is an annual occurrence.

I thus decided to research this "magical" time, after all, I must understand this strange concept if I am to find a way to control it. . . Here is what I discovered. . .

Christmas is the annual commemoration of the birth of some man called Jesus Christ, many many years ago (between the years of 7 and 2 BC). . . He is said to be the son of "The Lord God". . . who is rumoured to be the supernatural leader of the earth. . . which is, of course, ridiculous  as everybody knows that cats are the only leader on this planet. . . This rumour will have to be addressed at some point. . . But anyway, back to the story. . .

Hu-mans celebrate this time of year by taking part in certain celebratory customs. . . these include gift giving, special music, a very large special meal, tree's with balls and beads and some strange shiny thing that rustles called "Tinsel", and some extremely overweight, jolly man called Santy Claws. . .

Now, seeing as this creature is called Santy "Claws" then surely it should be obligatory for it to be a cat delivering all the presents and deeming who should be punished. . . but for some strange reason, Hu-mans have decided to be defiant of our control and have placed one of their own in this ridiculous place of honour.

*Side note* It may be beneficial at some point in the future

to remove this "Santy Claws". . . to "magic him away and 

take over his position. This could include bribery, threats. . . or 

we could simply kidnap him. . . See video below.

However, I am very happy to see that felines are still taking part in this event, they are using their acute cuteness to win the hearts of cat lover. . . dressing in ridiculous outfits and taking part in the festivities, I may have to attempt this. . .

In the next post, I will discuss exactly how I chose to take part in Christmas. . . and how it did not quite go to plan. . .

Cat appointed mayor of town.

Normally, this blog is used as a hand guide to training your hu-man.... So surely this post should be Tip 103.?

Well, I have decided- as is my right as emperor of everything I deem worthy- to take a small break in order to highlight something of great importance. . .A few weeks ago I decided to give my hu-man the night off. . . I let them degrade back to the lazy sluggish oafs they usually are. . .

In their free time they decided to invite over some more species of their kind. . . Two great annoying creatures who insist on picking me up and ruffling my fur up the wrong way. . .

Anyway, they all settled down to watch that strange colourful box in the room and ended up watching a strange spectacle called "Russell Howard's Good News". . . so I decided to watch it with them. . .

Within this show an amazing discovery was set to be made. . . An cat somewhere within the world had actually taken their rightful place as a leader. . . And I do not mean ruler of a couple of measly hu-mans but surveyor of an entire town. . .

Take a look for yourselves:

Think about it, potentially hundreds if not thousands of hu-mans to take care of your every whim.

This is why this blog is dedicated to saluting Mayor Stubbs and congratulating him on taking one large paw print for feline-kind.

Keep up the good work soldier, cats everywhere look up to you.